After all, love fades away, relationships die, people die, computers crash. All we can do is breathe and reboot.
Because in life, there is no ctrl-alt-del.
dimanche 27 mai 2007
Trusting again
You may find yourself questioning who you can trust, including your own judgment since you may not have expected the break-up. You may wonder if you were wrong to have trusted your partner. You may begin to question how real your relationship was because if it was real how could it be over?
Your ability to trust may feel shaky. You probably trusted your partner, and expected your relationship to last. You may feel alone and abandoned.
While it takes time, you can re-build trust in yourself and others again. Even though this relationship is over that doesn't mean that you were wrong to trust her/him, and even if you were that doesn't mean that you'll make that mistake again. You can learn from this.
But where else to look for trust if your eyes were telling me love was there?
Your ability to trust may feel shaky. You probably trusted your partner, and expected your relationship to last. You may feel alone and abandoned.
While it takes time, you can re-build trust in yourself and others again. Even though this relationship is over that doesn't mean that you were wrong to trust her/him, and even if you were that doesn't mean that you'll make that mistake again. You can learn from this.
But where else to look for trust if your eyes were telling me love was there?
vendredi 25 mai 2007
The bad guy, the good guy
Maybe it's maturity or the wisdom that comes with age, but the witch in Hansel and Gretel-she's very misunderstood. I mean, the woman builds her dream house and these brats come along and start eating it.
Playing the bad guy role and the good guy role sometimes may be overwhelming.
Are we really supposed to have a role?
Or are we holding us masks forever and ever in this big ball called life?
Maybe the past is like an anchor holding us back. Maybe, you have to let go of who you are to become who you will be.
Can you get to your future if your past is present?
Maybe yes, so maybe our masks can help us again and when you least expect it, they become part of your skin, because maybe you are nothing more than a mask support.
Just re-boot and go and read another fairy tale.
Let the witch kill the boys and be happy with a nice and beautiful Prince in her nice candy loft in Old Montreal.
Playing the bad guy role and the good guy role sometimes may be overwhelming.
Are we really supposed to have a role?
Or are we holding us masks forever and ever in this big ball called life?
Maybe the past is like an anchor holding us back. Maybe, you have to let go of who you are to become who you will be.
Can you get to your future if your past is present?
Maybe yes, so maybe our masks can help us again and when you least expect it, they become part of your skin, because maybe you are nothing more than a mask support.
Just re-boot and go and read another fairy tale.
Let the witch kill the boys and be happy with a nice and beautiful Prince in her nice candy loft in Old Montreal.
mardi 22 mai 2007
Rollerblading
Yesterday my willingness to try something new threw me out of my routine to the rollerblading experience.
I was amazed to see how easy it is.No falls,at all.
Today I remembered my yesterday's experience when I tried to go out of my bed and my legs wanted to stay there.
Anyways...I have some tips for you,if you ever consider rollerblading:
Do not rollerblade close to your mom,she is gonna freak out,saying that you're gonna fall,break your head to pieces and all those things they say all the time,you know,you won't need that to start.
Do not rollerblade close to kids, they will laugh at you, that may not be quite motivating.
Do not smoke while rollerskating, it may be charming but you will forget you are holding the cigarette and will look even more ridiculous.
Last but not least, do not rollerblade with nice loose shorts, you'll be in trouble to manage to look kiddy and keep your shorts up as you skate, believe me it's lots of hard work...With skates...you look kiddy enough..enough for a kid give you tips and call you "pal".I skated yesterday and was a 10 years old kid's "pal".
Buy a pair for you, and just feel the wind, and you may prove some gravity.
I didn't fall yesterday, for in my last fall I decided to stand up and never let myself fall again. Because you fall when you don't trust yourself.
Smile, stand up and just roll....
I was amazed to see how easy it is.No falls,at all.
Today I remembered my yesterday's experience when I tried to go out of my bed and my legs wanted to stay there.
Anyways...I have some tips for you,if you ever consider rollerblading:
Do not rollerblade close to your mom,she is gonna freak out,saying that you're gonna fall,break your head to pieces and all those things they say all the time,you know,you won't need that to start.
Do not rollerblade close to kids, they will laugh at you, that may not be quite motivating.
Do not smoke while rollerskating, it may be charming but you will forget you are holding the cigarette and will look even more ridiculous.
Last but not least, do not rollerblade with nice loose shorts, you'll be in trouble to manage to look kiddy and keep your shorts up as you skate, believe me it's lots of hard work...With skates...you look kiddy enough..enough for a kid give you tips and call you "pal".I skated yesterday and was a 10 years old kid's "pal".
Buy a pair for you, and just feel the wind, and you may prove some gravity.
I didn't fall yesterday, for in my last fall I decided to stand up and never let myself fall again. Because you fall when you don't trust yourself.
Smile, stand up and just roll....
lundi 21 mai 2007
Who's around?Ooops, a friend!
Yesterday I had to have a friend shaking my wrecked brains to make me see the obvious and realize what in fact my life is made of.
Sometimes it takes a friend to help you out to wake up and smell the coffee.
My life is full of blessings..not mistakes.
I have to stay focused and fight for what I believe.
I believe in me, I believe in my ability to stand up and re-start from zero.
I know the difference between lies and truth.
I know the difference between good and bad.
I know the difference between fucking and making love.
I know myself enough to know how far I can get and what I can achieve when I'm focused.
Thank you my friend for opening my eyes to the obvious.
Sometimes it takes a friend to help you out to wake up and smell the coffee.
My life is full of blessings..not mistakes.
I have to stay focused and fight for what I believe.
I believe in me, I believe in my ability to stand up and re-start from zero.
I know the difference between lies and truth.
I know the difference between good and bad.
I know the difference between fucking and making love.
I know myself enough to know how far I can get and what I can achieve when I'm focused.
Thank you my friend for opening my eyes to the obvious.
samedi 19 mai 2007
To fake or not to fake, that's the question
Wax fruits are coming from my trees,
I cry when I feel like laughing,
my sweetest dreams are nightmares,
I fake my smile,
I fake my appetite,
I fake my libido,
I fake my love.
Before believing this is true, I'd better off fake my understanding on how true love could have become nothing.
Or I should fake my belief that love cannot do everything.
Why is it so easier to people to fake it instead of face it?
I cry when I feel like laughing,
my sweetest dreams are nightmares,
I fake my smile,
I fake my appetite,
I fake my libido,
I fake my love.
Before believing this is true, I'd better off fake my understanding on how true love could have become nothing.
Or I should fake my belief that love cannot do everything.
Why is it so easier to people to fake it instead of face it?
Just a tale, there is no need to think it was a fairy one...
Later that day I got to thinking about fairy tales. What if Prince Charming had never shown up? Would Snow White have laid in that glass box forever? Or would she have gotten up, spit out the apple, gotten a job and a health care plan and moved on with her life?
Carrie Bradshaw - Sex and The City
Carrie Bradshaw - Sex and The City
mardi 15 mai 2007
Freaks?
Somewhere out there is another little freak who will love us and understand us and kiss our three heads and make it all better?
dimanche 13 mai 2007
I feel fine and I feel good
This tells so much about my feelings these days...
cause every time I think of you
I feel a shot right through with a bolt of blue
It's no problem of mine but it's a problem I find
Living a life that I can't leave behind
and there's no sense in telling me
The wisdom of a fool won't set you free
But that's the way that it goes
And it's what nobody knows
While every day my confusion grows
I feel fine and I feel good
I feel like I never should
Whenever I get this way, I just don't know what to say
Why can't we be ourselves like we were yesterday?
Maybe we were not what we thought...
I'm not sure what this could mean
I don't think you're what you seem
I do admit to myself
That if I hurt someone else
Then I'll never see just what we're meant to be
Just would love to hear from you what we were meant to be.
Cause we are gonna be together forever, it is just a matter to fit you differently in my life, as a friend that lives in my heart and my sweetest memories.
(extracts from Bizarre Love Triangle - New Order)
cause every time I think of you
I feel a shot right through with a bolt of blue
It's no problem of mine but it's a problem I find
Living a life that I can't leave behind
and there's no sense in telling me
The wisdom of a fool won't set you free
But that's the way that it goes
And it's what nobody knows
While every day my confusion grows
I feel fine and I feel good
I feel like I never should
Whenever I get this way, I just don't know what to say
Why can't we be ourselves like we were yesterday?
Maybe we were not what we thought...
I'm not sure what this could mean
I don't think you're what you seem
I do admit to myself
That if I hurt someone else
Then I'll never see just what we're meant to be
Just would love to hear from you what we were meant to be.
Cause we are gonna be together forever, it is just a matter to fit you differently in my life, as a friend that lives in my heart and my sweetest memories.
(extracts from Bizarre Love Triangle - New Order)
Un si peu de moi
Y'est temps de retourner dans le rang
Le ptit coeur en plan
La vraie vie de l'autre bord
Je l'aime ben trop fort
Et malgré tous les remords
Malgré les détours bizarres
Je garderai ton sourire quequ'part
Ça sert plus à rien de se voir
(extracts from Vincent Vallières, Un quart de piasse)
Le ptit coeur en plan
La vraie vie de l'autre bord
Je l'aime ben trop fort
Et malgré tous les remords
Malgré les détours bizarres
Je garderai ton sourire quequ'part
Ça sert plus à rien de se voir
(extracts from Vincent Vallières, Un quart de piasse)
Merry-go-round
My ex-wife and I are considering trying getting back together again after four years of divorce. However, although we're more mature now, I'm still concerned that we'll fall back into the same damaging habits that ended the first marriage. How can we make this new commitment work?
Much more than effectively considering getting back, this raised a lot of thoughts in my wrecked brains.
While it's tempting to try to resurrect love after it goes all wrong, you've got a lot of work ahead of you, since second efforts don't often work out as the partners would hope. And there's a reason: Couples rarely pour more than a few weak drops of sweat into self-examination and the hard work of renewing a bond, which ensures that the same dynamics that caused the wreckage the first time will arise again. If we're betting on a happier ending, we can't rerun your old dramas. Instead, we'll have to be painfully honest with each other by dropping our defenses and fighting the urge to assign blame for past or current indiscretions.
Of course, we weren't able to manage those tricks before our divorce, so what makes us think you can do it now? That's not a rhetorical question--and neither are the five listed below. Me and my ex should consider them seriously, write down our answers, then share prejudice or defensiveness:
* Which of my actions and personality traits contributed to the difficulties in my marriage?
* What unrealistic expectations kept me from seeing and hearing my partner clearly?
* Which attributes do I need to cultivate to make this new relationship a success?
* What behaviors do I need to change to become a better partner?
* What strategies do I need to acquire to make those changes?
The final question is: Is that all about me? Should I get back to my ex-wife or someone else I had before?Or should I never consider getting back to anyone?If the world turns to the same point everyday, are we turning back in time unconciously and re-living the same mistakes over and over, because after all, the Moon is the same up there in the sky at night, no matter what you change down here....
Much more than effectively considering getting back, this raised a lot of thoughts in my wrecked brains.
While it's tempting to try to resurrect love after it goes all wrong, you've got a lot of work ahead of you, since second efforts don't often work out as the partners would hope. And there's a reason: Couples rarely pour more than a few weak drops of sweat into self-examination and the hard work of renewing a bond, which ensures that the same dynamics that caused the wreckage the first time will arise again. If we're betting on a happier ending, we can't rerun your old dramas. Instead, we'll have to be painfully honest with each other by dropping our defenses and fighting the urge to assign blame for past or current indiscretions.
Of course, we weren't able to manage those tricks before our divorce, so what makes us think you can do it now? That's not a rhetorical question--and neither are the five listed below. Me and my ex should consider them seriously, write down our answers, then share prejudice or defensiveness:
* Which of my actions and personality traits contributed to the difficulties in my marriage?
* What unrealistic expectations kept me from seeing and hearing my partner clearly?
* Which attributes do I need to cultivate to make this new relationship a success?
* What behaviors do I need to change to become a better partner?
* What strategies do I need to acquire to make those changes?
The final question is: Is that all about me? Should I get back to my ex-wife or someone else I had before?Or should I never consider getting back to anyone?If the world turns to the same point everyday, are we turning back in time unconciously and re-living the same mistakes over and over, because after all, the Moon is the same up there in the sky at night, no matter what you change down here....
vendredi 11 mai 2007
Save Ferris!
Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop to look around once in a while you could miss it. ~From the movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off
lundi 7 mai 2007
My blues...
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message Love is Dead.
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
It was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the woods;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.
W.H.Auden - extracts from Funeral Blues
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message Love is Dead.
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
It was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the woods;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.
W.H.Auden - extracts from Funeral Blues
dimanche 6 mai 2007
Proud to be....
Born,beloved....
Resisting to pneumonia when 3
two sisters when 6
learning to be a man when 9
three languages when 10
effectively a man when 11
fell in love when 13
college when 17
a love a week when 18
huge responsibilities when 21
engineer when 22
manager when 26
husband when 28
father when 29
unhappy husband when 30
father for the second time when 32
separated when 33
true love when 34
broke when 35
canadian when 36
true love lost when 37
always proud to be myself
but innocent and stupid all the way...
Resisting to pneumonia when 3
two sisters when 6
learning to be a man when 9
three languages when 10
effectively a man when 11
fell in love when 13
college when 17
a love a week when 18
huge responsibilities when 21
engineer when 22
manager when 26
husband when 28
father when 29
unhappy husband when 30
father for the second time when 32
separated when 33
true love when 34
broke when 35
canadian when 36
true love lost when 37
always proud to be myself
but innocent and stupid all the way...
samedi 5 mai 2007
Politique toujours...
« […] deux grandes traditions qui malheureusement ont marqué trop d’années de l’histoire de la province de Québec : premièrement le mépris le plus complet pour l’intelligence du citoyen qu’on considére comme une simple marchandise électorale et, deuxièmement, la servilité d’un parti de rois-négres qui sont en fait les valets de chambre de certains gros intérêts, surtout les plus rapaces, qui, eux aussi, méprisent la population comme une espèce de tribu arriérée qui est faite pour être exploitée à loisir. » - Rene Levesque
Vive le Québec!
Vive le Québec!
Forever?
In your eyes I can still see
the look of the one who really loves me
I can still feel the way that you want me
The one who wouldn't put anything
else in the world above me
I can still see love for me in your eyes
And there ain't no way
lettin' you go now
And there ain't no way
and there ain't no how
I'll never see that day....
God,would you please help me find a way to release it?Why there's no forever for something that stays forever?
(extracts from Forever and For Always - Shania Twain)
the look of the one who really loves me
I can still feel the way that you want me
The one who wouldn't put anything
else in the world above me
I can still see love for me in your eyes
And there ain't no way
lettin' you go now
And there ain't no way
and there ain't no how
I'll never see that day....
God,would you please help me find a way to release it?Why there's no forever for something that stays forever?
(extracts from Forever and For Always - Shania Twain)
vendredi 4 mai 2007
Egg-Chicken
They say life brings you maturity through experience.
What is this maturity supposed to be?
Risk less, think more, enjoy less, fear more?
No idea.
Life is tricky and sometimes you can find yourself like in a carrousel where you can't seem to jump off because sometimes the "deja vus" of this same life can be overwhelming.
Sex became the viable option for fun when love is so hard to find or believe in.
For me sex always came after love.
But what is the use of being romantic if life is a bitch?
Maybe it is time to slut it up and be somehow happier.
Less expectations, less frustrations.
What a freaky thought.
Life is scaring me each day a litlle bit more.
I scare myself.
Should I settle for all this I never believed in or will someone show up and show me love can be there the way I dreamed of?Forever?
Or at least until the next post, or the morning after?
What is this maturity supposed to be?
Risk less, think more, enjoy less, fear more?
No idea.
Life is tricky and sometimes you can find yourself like in a carrousel where you can't seem to jump off because sometimes the "deja vus" of this same life can be overwhelming.
Sex became the viable option for fun when love is so hard to find or believe in.
For me sex always came after love.
But what is the use of being romantic if life is a bitch?
Maybe it is time to slut it up and be somehow happier.
Less expectations, less frustrations.
What a freaky thought.
Life is scaring me each day a litlle bit more.
I scare myself.
Should I settle for all this I never believed in or will someone show up and show me love can be there the way I dreamed of?Forever?
Or at least until the next post, or the morning after?
mercredi 2 mai 2007
Hard to believe...
Once I read something saying that love happens twice in your life...
Hard to understand and see when love is there.
What to do when noticing only when it's gone?
What is there to learn after all?
Are we here to go thru love like that?
Are we assuming love is there where it never showed up, just for the sake of not feeling sorry for living a loveless life?
Are we believing too much?
Twice?
Hard to understand and see when love is there.
What to do when noticing only when it's gone?
What is there to learn after all?
Are we here to go thru love like that?
Are we assuming love is there where it never showed up, just for the sake of not feeling sorry for living a loveless life?
Are we believing too much?
Twice?
Non sense in all senses
A hundred years from now it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of home I lived in, or the kind of car I drove...but the world may be different because I was important in the life of my boys, Kevin and Ian.Love you guys...
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