Outra vez

Você foi,
O maior dos meus casos
De todos os abraços
O que eu nunca esqueci
Você foi!
Dos amores que eu tive
O mais complicado
E o mais simples prá mim...

Você foi,
O melhor dos meus êrros
A mais estranha história
Que alguém já escreveu
E é por essas e outras
Que a minha saudade
Faz lembrar
De tudo outra vez...

Você foi,
A mentira sincera
Brincadeira mais séria
Que me aconteceu
Você foi!
O caso mais antigo
O amor mais amigo
Que me apareceu...

Das lembranças
Que eu trago na vida
Você é a saudade
Que eu gosto de ter
Só assim!
Sinto você bem perto de mim
Outra vez...

(extracts from Outra Vez, Roberto Carlos)

The bond

Ian's hand to mine, August 2002.
No words for the bond we have,my beloved son.

Captain's log

Looking back....
Life is all about believing...
I believe...I am determined to achieve what I want...
I don't complain, whine or cry for the sake of showing to people how miserable I could be..
I would rather stand up and do something out of my life.
And I did.
I remember when I heard your beliefs about our relationship, years ago.
You always believed it wouldn't work.
So how was I supposed to fight it?
How was I supposed to make it work?
Looking back I see now. Everything I believed I could make happen, I did.
Everything I believed I couldn't, I did not.
I am so sorry all my energy and dedication were not enough for you to believe.
I am sure, and so unfortunately sure, that you will believe me, but sadly late that will be.
Just hope you can believe one day that a plus can be on your life, just because life is what happens when you are busy making other plans.
Welcome to the real life.

(extracts from Beautiful Boy - John Lennon)

The Tattoo

I've decided to have a second tattoo, une fleur de lys.
At this year end, with so many gifts from life, this year has been an upward curve.
Starting with a job I hated and with the end of a long relationship to end it up with my family and true love around me, I realize now I have so much to thank Quebec for.
Québec has to be not only under my skin but it must be showing on my skin.
Tattoos are forever. A fleur de lys is forever.
A tattoo has many meanings but I still have to teach the dragon I have in my left arm to scare freaks like the ones I had in the past, away from me.
I may end up having two tattoos but I still have too many scars from the cuts that were left unhealed in the course of this year.
They will not last as long as my tattoos, but they will still be there for quite a while.

Keep it simple

At work, when implementing systems, designing them, sizing the hardware, training users, etc they say, keep it simple.
When it comes to relationships, they say, keep it simple...
These days these words have been chasing me quite frequently...
Maybe there is a reason for that.
I just have to look around,
I had the chance to have the most pure love raining on me from my two little boys.
I had the chance to realize the person I am.
I had the chance to wake up and smell the coffee.
I had a nightmare and I could wake up.
I have a big plus on my days, I always had.
I don't understand why we spend our energy with people that are just not worth it.
I feel quite bad when I remember how I underestimated the real me by begging for things I had enough for those who simply could not offer me anything just for not having anything to offer.
I look around and see how pathetic life can be to those people.
Pretending to be happy in their so little freaky world of arrogant self-centered opinions and judgments, and from the top of your tiny little mountain you see the real world from down there. Just keep going, cause life can be really ironic and it usually has no mercy or sense of humor when it comes to those throwing their opportunities in the garbage.
Looking at my life, so plenty of blessings, yes, I realize, I will keep it simple and the complicated mistakes I've made were simply done by a sorely mistaken version of myself.
No more time to please anyone, 'bout time to please myself.
Simple,huh?
And I will keep it like that.

Goodbye my friend

These days I couldn't help but thinking about water and love.
You may think they have nothing to do with each other but I have news for you, they have a lot in common.
Love and water flow naturally.
Love and water are absolutely critical for life but they can kill you as well.
Love and water, to be good, should be transparent, cristal clear.
But the difference is
While water to be good should have no smell and be tasteless
Love should taste good and smell good

I've tried a love that tasted,smelled and looked incredible good.
I will keep that love forever,
that is the water I need for life

Crossing the bridge back thru the river we had between us, is going to take me somewhere else,far from you, with someone else, but

All the taste will still be there
and the smell
all it takes for me to feel it, is to take a breath
Goodbye my lover,
goodbye my friend
you've been the one
you've been the one for me
I'm so hollow....

(extracts from Goodbye My Lover - James Blunt)

Just watch me burn!

Now I can tell you about success, about fame
About the rise and the fall of all the stars in the sky
Don't it make you smile
Now I can tell you about the place I belong
You know it won't last long
And all those lights they will turn down
Now I can see things for what they really are
I guess I'm not that far
I'm at the point of no return
Just watch me burn

Let it will be
Just let it be
Oh let it be

Anyone can see
Let it will be

Just watch me burn
Oh let it be
Just let it be
Won't you let it be

Extracts from Let it will be - Madonna